She's a really good scootcher

Here's a really short video of her latest discovery, this was taken on the 19th. She figured out how to do this about two weeks ago, she's real speedy at it now. When she goes after the cat or dog she looks so adorable with the most determined expression on, she really has no hope of keeping up with them but she's persistent enough that they get bored of running away.

Bedtime was a drain today, I think she napped to long in the afternoon. We had been outside in the sunshine all morning until 3 in the afternoon and she'd just caught a 30 minute nap in her stroller so I figured she could use some extra rest in her afternoon nap. So instead of picking her up and continueing with the evening after her nap I put her back to sleep. She fell back to sleep like a charm, I paid for it later though when she wouldn't sleep until 12am, I can't  remember the last time she was awake that late. Also, I thought I'd save myself some time and skip the bath today, turns out skipping the bath doesn't save time because she doesn't have the bath time to wind down and get ready for sleeping, not doing that again =/

Ivory's wedding was on Saturday, Lissy, Medori, Michelle, Izzie, and myself danced at the end it was super fun, I'm not much of a dancer but I was enthusiasticly imperfect and had a blast, I'm sure people watching must have been embarased enough for the both of us so I just had fun and didn't worry about what people where thinking. Besides wich, I know for a fact Medori and Melissa didn't know what they where doing and they didn't look bad at all so I figured I could do it too, just move to the beat right, I mean even Wesley can dance.

what's up at 8 months

It seems just these last two days Wesleys discovered that she can express her own preferences, this is new for me. In the past she was compliant to almost everything I could say, "it's time for a change" and tell her, "the head comes through, the hand comes through, now the other hand" and she didn't mind it that much. I could tell her "car seat time" and that was alright too. But now, she lets me know when she doesn't feel like having a shirt put on or sitting in the seat.
Of course such things still have to be accomplished, the wee one must be dressed for the weather and in her car seat when we go places, so I talk to her gently and just go about dressing her or buckling her in and she growls "ner ner ner ner rawr" and wiggles all over. When we're sitting around she doesn't just sit nice and still in your lap anymore eigther, she wiggles and squirms and twists all over to try and investigate everything she can see.
Another new development this week, she takes steps =D. She's stood when you hold her up for a long time, but now when you support her arms she'll go walking, very big steps, toes to the heavens, and sometimes she oversteps and doesn't know what to do about it so you have to help her out a little more. When she's sitting on the ground and sees something out of her reach she's very determined about investigating it. I get the impression one of these days she's going to figure out the scooching thing.

Today, in walmart there was a little kid, maybe four, who came over and was standing nearby looking up at Wesley. Wesley was so excited for some company, she squeeled with delight a couple times and tried to reach down and grab the girls nose. The whole time I was standing in line they just stared at each other, Wesley cooing and squeeling.

Rusty got lost on the other side of the highway and a trucker found her and brought her to winnipeg and called us I'm so glad she has a tag. She's home now, really scared though, it's all so strange for her.

Daddy Time

Babies

From Newborn...To 3 months, and so beautiful all the time

Sleep, an elusive concept at the moment. Our first night together in the hospital I was so tired but I couldn't sleep because that would mean closing my eyes and not seeing her. She's so beautiful, I still find myself mesmerised by her. They say I'm suposed to sleep when she sleeps but just now I can't do that because I'm enjoying her little sleeping faces too much.

I was going through grandma and grandpas photo albums earlier today and found myself especially interested in the many babies that have been in their life. I saw one of my dad at just about the age wesley is now, it makes me think how happy I am to be at this stage in life. Newly married with my first little one

I also saw a little bity Uncle Douge, Darrel, Michelle, Devin, Mackenzie, Melissa, Medori, Ginger, and Thomas. they've seen so many babies born.

High Tea

The Birthday girl and her familyall the Momans girls (though one became a Marks and another was born a Marks)

I was probably 12 the last time I had a tea party and I believe I made a fort at the top of the stairs and prepared sandwiches, cookies, and of course tea, served on moms fancy china to Lissy, Medori, and Ashley. Beck came up with the idea of having a tea party and watching Jane Austen videos all day for her birthday, it was great I am hereby thoroughly 1800s romance brainwashed. It's just to bad we didn't have time to watch them all though it would probably take another entire day to finish the rest of them.

On the way home Lissy, Medori, and I where in a car together, Wesley slept in her car seat the whole way. It felt like we where the three little girls again, Lissy and Medori where pestering each other and talking about ridiculous things.
Melissa: "I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth"
Medori: "Lissyyyyyy" =_=;
Melissa: "Could I get salt all around that rim-rim-rim-rim? Trey? I was like, “Yo, Trey? Could I get salt all around that rim-rim-rim-rim"
Medori: "Lissssyyyyyyyy" @_@;

I was ignoring it, or teaming up with Lissy against Medori, or with Medori against Lissy I believe though, I've matured enough to just do it for fun now and to know when to stop, not to enjoy seeing someone pestered as I used to.

From our drive we concluded that Medori makes a straightforward snow whisperer but my methods seem more mystical.
Medori: "the snow says there's a van in front of us"
Meghan: "The alighnment of the flakes tell us the road is clear and we should make it home safely"

Since Whitefish last summer I was trying to describe the kind of fog we saw on the road in and driving home I think I finally found the right words, "the fog clustered in transparent pools above the road" Lissy and Medori had some conversation about the fog too.
Medori: "the fog is dense like Lissy"
Melissa: "what do me and fog have in common?"
Medori: "mostly the dense part with fog being a more distant relative"

New Mom Update

Me and my little girl having a momentStaying warm by the fire after a bath
So being a mother has consumed most of my life as of late... actually, all of my life has been taken over by this new joyous task of baby raising. She's over two months old now and it has been two months with some of the most amazing and most stressfull moments in my own 22 years of life.

One of the most precious moments in my life was when she was born. I asked to hold her immediately and as the screaming little body was placed on my belly she calmed down and silently rested there, we both where so content. I looked down at her and instantly loved the little warm infant, I thought she was beautiful.

Ten minutes felt like seconds and the doctor was asking to cut the cord and take her away to do their check up stuff I didn't want to part with her but I hesitantly allowed them to take her away. The next afternoon we headed home and I set up my room like the hospital with everything near by so that I didn't even need to leave the bed to care for her it was very convenient. Mom came over and helped out with a lot of stuff.

To forwarn you, an account of my breastfeeding exprience ahead,

After three days we discovered she wasn't gaining weight properly and wasn't sucking well so whenever she wasn't sleeping she was crying and after three more stressful days of trying, waking her up every two hours to try get her to eat, I finally had to start using some formula, feeding her has been the most stressful aspect of these few months I've had with her, I can only imagine how simple things would have been if breastfeeding had gone smoothly.

As it is, I had to start pumping and couldn't get Wesley to latch or if she did she didn't suckle much at all. Over the course of time I've tried all kinds of things, waking her every three hours, cup feeding, finger feeding, nipple shield, kangaroo care, chiropractor visits all to get her to latch and pumping, herbal supplements, and domperidone to keep my milk supply up. Over the course of time I spent hours reading up on all the information I could find on what other people have done in my situation. Sometimes I figured I would just have to accept my role in her life as a mom who was going to pump milk for her and bottle feed her for the first year of life, sometimes I was close to giving up completely. I don't know what's wrong with me but somehow giving up just isn't an option I supose I'm incrediby stubborn that way and it finally seems to be paying off!!

At just about three months she is finally a latching baby and it takes a bit of training on my part to get used to this idea, I always nurse her before bottle feedings now and she is needing less and less bottle feedings all the time. Bottle feeding is so much more convenient in public right, so I have to train myself not to resort to it out of embarasment. I have a nursing baby I just have to get used to the idea of being a nursing mama.

Thoughts that kept me going:
"It's not going to happen quickly this will be two steps forward one step back" A breastfeeding friend of mine from church told me that her son got frustrated with bottle feeding because it was to slow for him so I figured aha! "A key component to this is getting enough milk for her to prefer me to the bottle." And when I did get her latched on and she was barely sucking (as usual) or just sitting there I would just leave her there as long as it wasn't time for me to pump or she wasn't searching for some sustinence "comfort nursing first, then as she begins to associate the breast with food nutritive nursing would follow naturaly" I also left her there thinking to myself, "she's learning, this is learning time for her as she figures this out"

Once she hit 12 pounds I let her set her own sleep schedual and wake and sleep all she liked. I believe our first real breakthrough happened when I sat on the couch, put her on a pillow latched on and lay my head on the back of the couch and fell asleep. Over time we found out how to lay down on the couch with her on my stomach resting in my one arm which was suported by the back of the couch, our most recent accomplishment is the side lying possition which we both love.

Eventually I believe it was shear persistance and some grace from God for all the patience that made it work.

Happy Birthdays

Yesterday I celebrated my 22nd year since my birth, and our little girl celebrated her first full day. The instant I saw her I thought she was beautiful. I heard it's normal to think your baby's funny looking, but after working all night to see her and waiting these fourty weeks watching her come into the doctors hands was the most amazing sight.

I woke up at six in the morning on the fifth and started feeling occational tightening in my lower abs and stomach but it was so mild and infrequent I figured I should get some extra rest in case I didn't have another chance later so slept until 11.

In the afternoon Wade and I went over to Jed and Lindsays. I watched the girls while Wade and Jed went to switch the cars tires afterwards we where invited to my parents house for waffles and ice cream. I napped about two hours or so and Wade went out and mowed the lawn with the tractor before having some waffles. We left about 9pm. All day the abdomen tightening had continued and where becoming more frequent so to be on the safe side Wade and I headed to the hospital.

While waiting for the doctor Wade asked what I thought it would be, "I'm going to say a girl, but I know I'm going to be wrong" he said, "me too I think it's a girl but I'm going to be wrong." We where set on a boys name but still uncertain about a girls middle name we both liked Anya and Claire so we did rock paper scissors, I think secretly I wanted Claire to win though.

The doctor talked about inducing in the morning if things hadn't started on their own and that I should walk around until midnight and if nothing happened get some rest, I walked until midnight then lay down to rest and boo hoo couldn't sleep because they where to strong and frequent, I was a bit bummed out that I wasn't going to be getting to sleep

needless to say, by 8:55 the next morning we had our very own little daughter and we named her Wesley Claire.

Waiting

Any day now, any hour labour could begin and my body will start it's efforts to bring our child into the world. If walking is meant to induce labour I don't know how much is recomended, but I've likely walked miles today, wow I'm tired. But I do feel prepared for the baby's arival finally. We got my vacation pay today so I did shopping.

Relaxing in the Prairies #2

Wade and I took a sunday to head out fishing, we went in the afternoon and didn't catch a thing. Jed and Lindsay came and joined us at around seven and then we started catching stuff... well I did anyway =3
I caught three fish, Jed and Lindsay each caught one and poor Wade the fisherman didn't catch any. He had a good time though.

This ones a keeper for sure...Wade and LindsayWade and JedMe and baby

Last year we went to this same fishing spot and had a relaxing day in the prairies, check out the photos from that trip too, Relaxing in Praries

30 Weeks pregnant

First Sight

Spring Break at Gull Lake

My parents planned a vacation to gull lake, a camp in Alberta my family had worked at summer 1999 and winter 2000 before moving to Portage. I was very excited to go a long unfortunately however Wade was not able to make it because of work.

We spent one full day traveling, and have been here one full day already. Travel the eighth, went to the West Edmonton mall the ninth and today we're doing work projects.

Wade and I have been able to have some pleasant conversations through text messaging. I was able to keep him up to date on what we were doing each day. While I was gone he bought sandwich groceries, kitty litter, and worked at cleaning the house, exciting I know. Our little cat, Dooms, was in heat and annoyed him the entire time I was away.

17 Weeks Pregnant

Dealing with Daily life

When I'm angry and struggling with situations in life I know I can't do anything about my only option seems to be letting it sit and bitter in my heart. While I'm unable to do anything, God is capable of doing everything with it and healing my hurt. I know this, but for some reason giving up the feirce grip of negative angry thoughts is still so hard to do.

"You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt should lose it's taste how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world, a city on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket but rather on a lampstand and it gives light for all who are in the house"
- Mathew 5:13-15

14 Weeks Pregnant

Good News Confirmed

I had my suspicions, but as of January 26, I know for sure. The doctors confirmed Wade and I are having a baby. He's suggested a name for a girl and I like it, I've suggested a name for a boy and he likes it now we have to come up with the middle names. Currently we are keeping the names a secret.

12 Weeks Pregnant

An Article about Tuth

What is true cannot be decided on by a committee or by popular opinion, it can only be it discovered by committed seekers. Let me explain. The laws of physics words discussed in a boardroom and voted upon as true and false, they had to be discovered. Physics doesn't conform to our formulas, our formulas were designed through observation of physics, are formulas were made to explain and understand physics, not to create its laws.

A belief or personal opinion means nothing unless it conforms to reality. I can say, there is no such thing as the rocky mountains, a whole country could say there is no such thing as the rocky mountains, they are a myth. Their belief would mean nothing to the actual existence of the mountain's.

Beleifs not conforming to reality can even be dangerous, for example I can believe a centimeter of ice will support my weight, I can put all the faith and confidence into that I ice but it won't change the truth of the matter. When I step out onto the ice I'm going to fall through.

It is a popular opinion that there is such a thing as my truth and your truth and they can be different but that's OK. This isn't possible. Nobody designs the world around them by their beleifs, the world is as it is and it's not going to change whether you do or don't believe it. One person could very well hold the right opinion, and another hold the wrong. One beleifs correct the other incorrect. That may not be a very popular opinion, but is what's popular always right?

Now the issue this has been building up two, is there a God? Suffice it to say, if there is, there is and nothing you can say or do will change that. If there is a god, he is who he is and you can't decide on what he's like, what his principles are, the extent of his involvement with humanity or what he intends to do with his creations during and after their life on earth. If he is, then he is, and he is as he is with out your opinion on the matter. If there isn't there isn't. But it would be most beneficial for you to know the truth of the matter because the answer to this very simple question influences every area of your life: your thoughts, actions, morality, and purpous for very existence hinge on this question many dismiss far too easily

I know what I believe and I know why I believe it, I think about it every day and regularly do more research. I am a truth seeker. I will not be satisfied with cliche answers or popular opinions. Ultimately, I would like to challenge you to know what you believe and why because it could be that your believing a lie.

11 Weeks Pregnant

Wonderful scent

So, a great start to the new year. I had a wonderful time at "specken dicken" the new year's tradition of delicious hearty pancakes served at grandma and grandpa's for lunch. Later in the afternoon when most people had left I went for a nap in the far spare bedroom. I lay there in that cold room under all warm blankets breathing in the smells of growing up and fond childhood memories from days I had visited and slept there. I listened to everyone visiting. From that room I could hear everyone downstairs, in the dining room, kitchen, and living room. I fell asleep enjoying the peaceful sounds of my family and smelling the wonderful scent of old memories.

7 Weeks Pregnant (didn't know it yet)

New Year Post

A lot has happened this year. I went to Mexico, started working at countess place, graduated, got married, moved out of my parents' house. Through it all I was trying to read through the bible. I was more often ahead and behind.

So, a new chapter of my life begins, and new year. But this time, most of my decisions have to be brought up with Wade as well. It's been a year of many spiritual up's and downed. Some of these things have been recorded in my blog entries this past year. I've got lots of hopes for this year. It's my hope that I'm following God's plan for a relationship, I'll be able to follow His plan for other parts of my life.

Today, I'm full of hope. I can't say the whole year has been so wonderful. I felt crushed and hopeless many times. Just after getting married was very hard for me. I was homesick, and scared of having to take control of my life and direct my own path of. I felt hopeless because I figured I'd never be able to do what God it asks me, or maybe, God wouldn't ask me to do anything because I'm not faithful. Anyway, this has been a pretty rambling entry, but it's a record of what has come to mind thinking about the year.

The Mexico trip was amazing. I can look back on that as a blueprint of what my daily walk with God should look like. We ate together every day, met together for prayer every morning, had morning devotions every day, had a study every evening. Each day we did some work of help. I tried handing out tracts to people and reading them to them, I asked a lady how to pronounce Spanish words so I could.

What a beautiful eight days of my life! I dreamt of starting a mission trip to Portage, of inviting my neighborhood into my home for bible studies, of handing out tracts and telling people about Jesus, heaven, hell, and god. These are my dreams. They're even bigger than I can put on paper. I dream of Christians who would sell everything and live together, meeting every morning for prayer and evening to share and learn. Each day to go out and share the gospel and lend help.

I have a plan for the next 90 days starting tomorrow. I hope two: choose a one day a week to fast, read through the bible, pray every morning, read and learn from " the love dare"

7 Weeks Pregnant (didn't know it yet)

Religion:

Introduction:
If it's false:
Who invented it?
Why did they invent it?
How can it be confirmed as false

If it's true:
Who learned about it?
How did they come to know about it?
How can it be confirmed as true?

Religion is a way of seeing the world. It is a set of beliefs concerning cause, nature and purpous of the universe and offten contains a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
This set of beliefs if it is to be taken as true, is responsible to consistently and logically account for any and all questions that may be asked of it concerning the origin and authenticity of the beliefs origin and the answers to life it is claiming to be.

The belief must answer to it's origin (where it came from) becuase truth must be found, it can't be invented.

It must answer to your questions because it claims to be that answer. It claims to be your answer for cause, nature, and the purpous of the universe, so it better answer questions concerning those things and it better be consistent with what is known and evident about cause and nature.

Ultimately, this belief must answer among others, these questions:
The earth came from somewhere, where did it come from?
Plants and animals came from somewhere, where did they come from?
Humans came from somewhere, where did they come from?
All matter came from somewhere, both living and nonliving, where did it come from and how did it come to do what it's designed to do (one example of countless: cells splitting, hair growing only so much in diamiter then only growing in length from there, same for fingernails, and the growing, development, and aging of living things each predictably in it's proper time)?
Besides simply functioning living matter, humans have minds which are composed of but not limited to: thought, conscience, reflection, observation, comparison, decision, respect, hatred, compassion, empathy... where did these come from?
All nature is governed by unbreakable laws (physics, chemistry, etc) where did they come from and what is keeping them in place?
People have a sense of right and wrong, where did this sense come from?
What is good, why is it good?
What is evil, why is it evil?

Why can't we not ignore these questions and simply believe nothing and just live life? Because without belief where does our moral code come from and what governs the conduct of human affairs? The questions must be asked because there there is injustice and what is just can only be determined by a moral code which cannot be determined without beliefs.

Conclusion:
These questions have been asked because there has to be an answer. We see the end result, but we want to know how it got there, and if it's there, it must have gotten there somehow according to cause and effect. We see the effect and wonder about the cause. Where do babies come from? is prompted by the effect of seeing a baby, because the baby is there, it must have gotten there somehow, so the question is asked: "what is the cause."
because science shows us, everything makes sense, the world functions because it all works, it will continue to work wether we know how it functions or not. But knowing how it functions can be of great benefit as we have discovered in the field of medicine, chemistry, and even physical fitness as some examples.

The answer's have great significance to the way we lead our lives, what we think and what we do.

There is an answer for every question that has been prompted by a cause and is asking for the effect (because it's impossible for there to be an uncaused effect). it's just a matter of finding the right source.

7 Weeks Pregnant (didn't know it yet)

Wade's 22nd Birthday

My stomach felt absolutely misserable today. Wade and I went over to Jed and Lindsays for a visit and I threw up about three times, I couldn't even keep down water it was gross.

In the evening Mom and Dad took Wade, Jed, Lindsay, and I out to the Keg as a late celebration for his 22nd birthday. Unfortunately I was still feeling awful which made everything on the menu pretty unapealing. I did manage to enoy a glass of red wine though.

Afterward, Jed and Lindsay took us all out glow bowling, first time glow bowling, third time bowling, good stuff.

2 Weeks Pregnant (didn't know it yet)

I love my husband

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WADE!!

Since it's Wades birthday today I'm writting an entry all about him, how much I care about him and think of him as a very standup guy in this fallen world. We have been a very blessed couple. How few couples in history get to select their marriage partner and have this beutiful and intimate desire to be together? This is the way God intended relationships to be.

I am looking forward to a life spent with Wade. He's a thoughtful and affectionate husband, a concerned and devoted friend, and a faithful employee.

He's sincere about whatever he believes and allows his beleifs to influence every area of his life. which is an excellent quality especially when paired with another fine quality of his, teachability. If what he believes can be logically challenged he will change his perspective, especially if it is some truth from the bible that is questioning his mindset.

He's devoted to his dreams and can sacrifice smaller joys for a larger purpous.

I'm constantly amazed by how attentive he is to both myself and the people he cares about around him. How willing he is to drop whatever his priorities may be for that day or moment and do what his wife or friends need right then instead.

I also have to commend him for being an excellent provider and taking good care of us. We can pay the bills every month, do grocery shopping, and on top of that we've been blessed with a house two cars and all the clothing we need, maybe a little bit more on my part =3 . Thanks Wade for your hard work.

I hope in this marriage I can be a blessing from God to Wade, as I submit to him as the man in my life, and leader of our life to come. As we delight in and struggle through work, play, relaxing, learning, and all the other wonderful and at times confusing things of life, doing it together side by side. Trusting him as the forrunner in each situation.

And this going out espcially to Wade, More than telling you about these things, I hope you can see them in my life as I grow in maturity.

How's it been going

Still haven't managed to get a regular or decent bed time going, but I am getting better about waking up at a good time and not taking any naps, eating well is not as I would like it but is definately better and yay, I've been sketching again. I've been going through some art teaching books from the library my art has been stagnant lately and I hope to make some progress there.

One of the things that has motivated me to get up and do these things is something I read recently in the bible, "A slacker's way is like a thorny hedge, but the path of the upright is a highway. Proverbs 15:19"

I got to thinking about this, a thorny hedge is difficult to navigate through, but on a highway you can speed right along, the slacker thinks their taking a short cut, not doing work or what is necessary, but their short lazy way is far more difficult than if they had just done things the proper way.

I think of how I would like to read and study the bible more so I understand more about God and what He says, I want to know Him more, I'd like to spend more time in meditation and prayer, I'd like to learn more about art, more time studying art books and doing sketching excercises, I'd like also to memorize, but so often I figure I need a little more sleep first, or get on the computer and wittle away a couple hours browsing and on facebook, instead of personal study or meditation I listen to sermons, and when my head won't take in any more sermons I listen to christian music, and when I can't take in any more of that I go to classical and jazz.

I want the satisfaction of accopmlishment, I want wisdom and knowlege but these small satisfactions and educational puruits that take minimal effort get in the way of my greater satisfactions and understanding that take hours, days, weeks, and years of concerted concentrated effort, and this slackers way is thorny. If I just had the dicipline, I'd be on the highway instead of wrestling through these thorns.

August sunset in Portage close to where we've been living

I took this picture as a resource for a drawing a want to do some day